||[Mar. 4th, 2005|03:52 am]
Ok, it took me a lot of nerve to put this up. I was ana when I was 11-14 and I looked good. I was 5'9 125lbs and I had HUGE breasts. I'm 18 now and I have been diagnosed as bi-polar, as a result I have been put on lots of different medications and have gained A LOT of weight. I don't like to talk about it with anyone, because I think I'm still in denial that I'm fat. I have a wonderful boyfriend, he's goregous, thin, everything and he loves me and says that I'm beautiful. Still, I feel unconfortable getting naked around or with him. I not only want to get thin again for him, I never feel good about myself. I have stretch-marks now and I'm disgusting. I have become what I used to look at and say, "I will NEVER be that fat." I am ready to make that change and I need all the support and help you all can offer.|
I know, I know, I have a LONG way to go, but I know I can and will do it.
Here's a pic of my at Christmas, it's not full-body, I know, but you can see how fat my face and fingers are. Gross.